October 07, 2007

Michael Ballack is a Manly Man

Michael Ballack is a manly man. He likes the manly sport of football and to barbecue and to play cards with his friends. Michael dresses manly and has a pretty wife and three manly boys. But now Michael isn't so sure he is all that manly. Do manly men kiss other men? He really didn't know anymore. Michael was sure of his manliness until the day he met Torsten Frings. At the time Torsten was a manly man too. He also has a pretty wife and now two daughters. He even dressed manlier than Michael and his hair was a manly kind of short. For a few years Michael struggled with forbidden unmanly thoughts of Torsten under him. Michael Ballack tried many things to get Torsten out of his head, this is how he ended up with three boys.
It took until his year at Bayern when Torsten transferred there. During the first practice Michael and Torsten were manly fooling around- beating each other up, making fun of each other, making fun of the rest of the team. At the end of practice the coach let them have a free skirmish, Michael and Torsten were split up. The team decided to change up the positions, Michael became a forward and Torsten a defender. Micha had received the ball from a long cross and was on a break away with only Torsten to beat. At the last second Michael tripped and fell onto Torsten bringing them both to the ground. Michael didn't dare move, under him was a hot, sweaty, panting Torsten. He groaned when Torsten shifted a little. By now the coach and a few of the players had reached them to see if they were okay. Their response was a simultaneous groan.“Ok boys shake it off! Go to the lockers your done for the day.” the coach said patting Michael on the back.
Michael moved into a kneeling position and gave Torsten a hand. Their eyes met for a brief second and all Michael could see was lust. That day was the first day Michael challenged his manliness. It relieved him that it was hot and urgent and more like manly sex than love making, at least he wasn't turning into a girl.
But something happened that day that changed Michael and Torsten forever. Besides the fact that every spare minute was used to steal a kiss or spend time together, their attitudes and personality started to visibly change. They both had become protective of one another, on and off the pitch. They both assumed the roles as the “parents” on the national squad. They were both becoming less manly. That was what scared Michael the most, it made him want to end everything with Torsten but he found that when he had just the right amount of courage, he couldn't do it. His taste in clothing started to change, he went from plain t-shirt and shorts to Technicolor, patterned, sparkly shit that shouldn't be worn even by the draggiest drag queen.
He noticed a change in Torsten as well- when did he start growing his hair long? Although he can't say he doesn't like it, he does. It helps him cope with sleeping with another man. They're just lucky the relationship hasn't changed their performance on the field, even if they did received a few extra yellow cards on each others behalf. They became secretive and nervous, constantly watching their backs, making sure the media didn't catch them in their unmanly act. Michael Ballack almost couldn't stand it. He became moody and sad every time he was away from Torsten. At first it was just raw, manly sex but now he wanted to sit and talk with Torsten, maybe in front of a fire-naked. Thoughts like these passed through Michael's mind, not the sex but the intimacy. He hated it. He was feeling, when he shouldn't be. He caught himself looking at other guys and couldn't even remember the last time he checked out a woman, including his wife. And through all of this he had to feel sorry for the girl, even though truthfully her feelings don't matter to him. He knows she has seen the changes since she offers to go clothes shopping with him.
He doesn't want her to know, he doesn't want her to know why he lingers in the locker room or how practice really ends at two pm and not four. Most of all he still wants to be considered a manly man to his wife, to his sons, and most of all to Torsten. But what he really wants is just Torsten. It may seem like he has Torsten, he can kiss him, he can hug him, hell he can fuck him but if he truly had Torsten he would be prancing around hand in hand like a twink. He might even be wearing make-up or paint his nails. His might have been a girl. Suddenly a life with Torsten and only Torsten disgusted him. How can one become so unmanly? How could he have let this happen?

Hide-And-Go-Seek

Lukas was stunned; and couldn't move. Well, he could move, but he was in their room. Lukas was supposed to be playing hide-and-go-seek with Bastian and David right now, but the two people in the room were making it difficult. At the moment, Schweini was trying to find him and Odonkor.Lukas prayed he both would and wouldn't find him. He was determined, like when he was in match and wanted to win, but the situation he was in now made him want to give up the winning title. From under the desk he could see two pairs of feet, one with adidas sneakers, the other with socks and sandals. The hotel room was getting smaller in Lukas' opinion since the only part of the room that was being used was the desk he was under and they were standing over. Even though it was his teammates that was causing this dilemma he couldn't help but have another problem arise down below. A pair of swimming shorts fell to the floor. It was only meant to be a game of extreme hide-and-go-seek.Klinsmann had given the team a day off, and as a whole they had decided to lazy around the pool. Bastian approached Lukas and David, who'd been napping on beach chairs, Pulling them by the arm, he'd dragged them to the floor where the team's rooms were and took out three card keys.Lukas looked at the keys and said, "Well you could've asked us if we wanted to play PS2."Bastian smiled and shook his head, "These, my friends, are master card keys! They can get us into any room we want!""How did you get them?" David asked."Charmed them off the cute receptionist." Bastian responded.And that's how Lukas ended up under the desk in Timo and Philipp's room. They weren't supposed to be there, and he wasn't supposed to be witnessing this. Of course he wasn't supposed to be there, either. Regaining his thoughts,'Help.' After a minute Lukas took out his cell phone, thanking god he brought it with him, and put it on silence. He decided to text Schweini., a reply came.'Why?''I'm stuck in Timo & Fips room.' He texted back.'Y don't u just leave?' Schweini's text message said, apparently not getting the hint.'They're doin' stuff.'Over the moans, Lukas could hear Michael's voice booming from the hallway, "Schweinsteiger! What are you doing in our room?"He couldn't hear Schweini's response but he could hear Torsten telling him to return the keys. At that moment, Lukas gave up all hope on Bastian.
They were lying on the grass behind the pool next to each other. They smiled at the warm sun and thanked the pleasant time they had with each other. Philipp's sandals were lying next to him and Timo's shirt was tucked under his head to protect his beautiful hair. Timo turned towards Phillip. The defender seemed to be sleeping so the goalie just took in Phils features. Timo admired everything about the shorter man from the way he played on the pitch to the way he gets excited everytime he eats ice cream. Philipp opened his eyes and caught Timo staring at him."Herr Hildebrand it's impolite to stare," Philipp chuckled,
There were many responses Timo could have said to that but each one was cornier than the rest. He contemplated each response, like a true goalie does, and weighed the pros and cons of each. When he finally decided to respond Philipp had already turned to the sky. Timo's inner child flicked Philipp's ear. Phil swatted it away and reprimanded Timo on being immature. Timo just flicked his ear again. Instead of swatting his hand away Phillip launched himself onto Timo and started to tickle his stomach. Phillip's smug grin was probably what did it for Timo, not the need for release from the awful tickling, not how adorable Phil looked when the sun hit him ever so, but his god damn ridiculously happy grin. Timo pushed Phillip off him and rolled on top of Phil. Even pinned under Timo, Phillip still grinned like he was winning."admit it I won," Timo whispered in Phil's earPhillip's grin only got wider, "Then why are you the one losing control?" And that's just what happened he lost control; every last inch of it went into a rough kiss. Timo had every part of Phillip pinned to the ground and had full control over him. The kiss only grew hotter and rougher until it suddenly stopped. Under all the excitement Timo had lost control over Phillip's hips, which took advantage of this oportunity and grinned, hard against Timo. Panting Phillip whispered, "room," and they ran, faces flushed, and hair tossed to their room. Their teammates might of called out to them to join in their fooling around but they didn't hear, they had their own fooling around to do. The elevator ride up to the fifth floor was excruciating. They didn't dare touch each other in fear they wouldn't be able to stop and when they heard the little ping signaling the arrival it got even harder. Phillip searched through his pockets to find the key to their room. Timo only slightly acknowledged Schweini going into Miro and David's room. And that's how Phillip ended up behind Timo red as can be and how Timo had to resist the urge to kill someone, mainly Schweini and Poldi. Lukas was still under the desk fidgeting with his growing problem. He didn't know how he was going to survive this, maybe hope they didn't last too long. He planned to wait them out. That was a better idea than any help Bastian could've given him., who was probably at the lobby returning the keys, Micha and Torsten at his heels. Out in the hall Torsten had started to push Bastian towards the elevator. Bastian all the while protesting by leaning against Torsten, yelling, or grabbing the wall and various handles."At least let me got to the bathroom!" Schweini protested,"There are bathrooms in the lobby," Micha responded,"Then let me get the other key!""There's more keys?" Torsten and Michael simultaneously frowned,Bastian nodded his head head and pushed Torsten off of him. He hesitated, now which room was Timo and Fips? He went to a random door and opened it."What are you doing?" Torsten asked him,"I'm getting the key," Bastian said like it was obvious,"It's in Kehl and Metzelders room?" Bastian nodded his head in the negative and continued through other rooms."Where is it?" Ballack asked,"Lukas has it," Schweini responded, both Micha and Torsten groaned. "Unbelievable! You're lucky everyone's at the pool," Michael said
With Torsten's eyes on him and Micha leaning against his door, Bastian continued looking for Timo and Phillip's room. He opened a door and a loud squeaked omitted from it. That was the smoothest thing Lukas has ever seen Bastian do, just barge in on his teammates doing it. Lukas could barely even see Bastian from under the desk but he could imagine his eyes wide."Schweinsteiger get out!" Timo yelled,"Sorry just here to get Lukas," Schweini said uncharacteristically shy,
That was his cue, Lukas picked up the shorts and handed them up to whomever. After a few seconds Timo leaned down and became eye level with Lukas."How long have you been down there?" he asked,"ah truthfully the whole time," Lukas said sheepishly. Timo closed his eyes, his face turned a creepy shade of red and it definitely wasn't a blush. Phillip, who was unable to move until now, pulled Timo back up and to the side. They waited but Lukas didn't move."Any day now Podolski!" Torsten said in frustration,
From his new position, hanging half out of the desk, he could see everyone, Schweini's wide eyes, Micha and Phillip's blush, and Torsten's annoyed glare. He couldn't see Timo's face because it was digging into Phillip's shoulder. Lukas stood up and put a hand on each of Timo and Fips arm and apologetically said,"Real sorry I thought you'd be at the pool,"Phillip only smiled, "Just go before Timo kills you,""Right," Lukas responded and turned towards Basti, "You're going to have to wait to return those keys,""And why is that?" Micha asked,"Um, none of your buisness," Lukas said looking down, Bastian followed his action,"Oh ok," Bastian said grabbing Lukas' arm yet again and pulled him to their room.
Phillip pushed Timo off of him and walked to Ballack and Frings, "Nice weather we're having,""Uh yeah," Torsten replied, Timo joined them at the doorway.Calmly he said, "It's a good day for a swim. What are two men doing inside on a day like today?" and he closed the door. He turned to Phillip. Phil put his arms around Timo's neck and nuzzled at his ear. Phillip smiled and whispered,"C'mon lets go for a swim,""Smart ass," Timo retorted and pushed Phillip into the bathroom attacking Phil's neck with bites and kisses.
"Phillip 2, Timo 0," Phil chuckled, "FUCK DAVID GET OUT!"

Comfort

Sometimes it's a burden to Xabi. At times Xabi hates it. He hates the knowledge and the power. He hates being strong and nice. He hates being Xabi Alonso. But he hates Steven Gerrard even more. Xabi is suppose to, no, expected to know what to do. He is expected to like everyone and be the emotional anchor after a bad game. He expects himself to be all of these things but he is suppose to be the one receiving it. He hates Steven Gerrard because he is suppose to do what Xabi does but instead is the one who abuses Xabi the most. The worst of it is that Steven doesn't know how much Xabi needs him to be a captain. Not to say that Steven Gerrard is a bad captain, he actually is the best captain Xabi could ask for. Stevie raises the moral, raises the fans enthusiasm and gives great advice. Steven is just crummy at losing. The thing he loves most about Stevie is that right after he scores, he doesn't congratulate himself but he riles up the fans, it's what makes them love him, it's what makes him an excellent captain.
Most of the time Xabi has no clue how he comes up with some of this crap, it comes out of nowhere, most of the time it's unintelligible but ends up brilliant and at the end of the day it all helps to further his responsibilities. His comfort is like a golden apple. When Peter is off target, Xabi is there. When Luis can't perfect his crosses, Xabi is there. When the whole of the back defense lets an opposing player through to score, Xabi is there. And when Pepe lets that ball slip right past his fingers, Xabi is there. When Steven Gerrard is in the locker room, sitting there, looking listless, Xabi is always fucking there. It's routine. The team returns to the locker room, Xabi goes around hugging or patting people on the back. Stevie would sit on the bench in front of his locker, while the others stumble into the showers. Xabi would stay behind and sit next to him for hours. After one particularly bad loss to Chelsea they sat on that damned bench the whole day until Stevie silently cried (Stevie doesn't know Xabi realized) himself to sleep. Xabi frowned and carried Stevie to his car and brought him to Xabi's apartment. That night Stevie had horrible nightmares. Xabi watched as his captain thrashed about, screamed, and wimpered during the night. The next morning Stevie still wasn't back to normal. He stared off into space as Xabi held him.
Barely audible Stevie whispered, “ Y'know it wasn't so bad losing to them before. Before the World Cup, I mean. Before then they weren't my teammates or my friends,” he continued after a minute, “before all I saw was blue but now JT, Lamps, Joe, Ashley, they're all amongst the sea of blue and now I see all the great faces of today's football,”
Xabi smiled sadly, “It's sad really, blue, depressing almost.”
Steven turned to face Xabi, “You know Frank is a bad substitute for you,”
“Why because he won't hug you or kiss you and put up with your constant moaning?”
“We were the dream pair, the ones to take England to victory, the ones to lift the cup.”
Xabi kissed him and Stevie, having gotten everything off of his chest, returned to normal.
~~~~
Xabi walked into the locker rooms after the match. Xabi couldn't smile, he couldn't support the team today. They had played poorly and it showed. They had lost three nil to Arsenal, of all teams. As he entered no one looked up as they usually did, no one spoke, no one comforted each other, and no one expected anything from Xabi. Despite his disappointment he felt unneeded and he hated it. Stevie as usual sat on the bench. He hadn't bothered to shower or change or even take his cleats off. His captain band laid in the corner where he obviously threw it. Xabi cringed, he had no will power to sit there and take Steven's grief. Xabi was released from his duties but not from their pain. He felt all of them. Mark was angry and cursing. Luis couldn't understand. Pepe was replaying the whole game in his head and changing the situations to see where they went wrong. But Stevie was understanding. He wasn't angry or doubtful or astonished, he knew. Xabi was standing in the middle of the room and he didn't know where to go or what to do. He looked over to Steven to see if he should should sit next to him. Stevie, sensing someone was looking at him, looked up and caught Xabi staring at him. He smiled and threw a towel at Xabi.
“You're stinking up the place,” Steven half yelled across the room. Everyone looked up and smiled. We're finally getting a competent skipper, somebody said (probably Jamie). They laughed and continued what they were doing in a comfortable silence.
Xabi hates the responsibility but Xabi needs it. Xabi loves the comfort. He smiles at Stevie. He doesn't hate Steven Gerrard. He doesn't hate being Xabi Alonso only because he doesn't hate Stevie. And the burden, at times, can be shared.

The Real Reason Why I Transfered to Bayern Munich

Don't get me wrong I love my old club, 1. FC Köln, but I love something more. I didn't transfer to Bayern for more money, money wasn't even a question. I didn't transfer to Bayern because it simply is a better club. I have an extreme loyalty to Köln and would someday like to go back. To me it's like extreme nationalism, where every club is it's own country. Each club has it's rivals, each has it's followers. Every time two clubs meet on the pitch, it is like a battle is taking place and the cup they are fighting for is the war. My country ended up like Poland in World War II, another follower of the greater nations. I was content at Köln even though we were (and they still are) fighting for democracy in Vietnam.
I was the Fuhrer at Köln, there I was amongst my friends, my allies. I joined the Bayern army for one thing only, a fellow soldier. This soldier, though young, was already successful for his country. He won many medals in the first troop. I've heard from the higher-ups that my soldier boy is much happier and performing better with me here. His aim is on target, his stamina is stronger, and he works harder. Bastian Schweinsteiger has a reason to fight; me, I don't care what or why or for whom I am fighting for as long as I am with him. I long to fight in front of him, make his awards mine. I will do anything for Schweini even if I am considered Benedict Arnold to my old club.
One day we were on the front. The rest of the squad had left for the day and only Schweini and I were there. We sat on the grass and idly passed the ball between us.
“I'm happy you came here Poldi,” Bastian sighed,
“You doubted this would happen?” I asked.
He chuckled because he knew the answer, he won the war.